Sports: The Dull as Dishwater NFL

"There are teams that are fair-haired, and those that aren't so fair-haired. Some teams are named Smith, some Grabowski. We're Grabowskis."- Da Coach, Mike Ditka, January,1986

The problem with the NFL is that there are no more Grabowskis. While I enjoy watching the occasional football game, and the quality of play seems to be adequate (other than a lot of players who don't know how to actually tackle someone), what's lacking is personality.

Case in point: The Super Bowl winning Chicago Bears of the 1985-86 season had personality to spare. The Super Bowl losing Bears of the 2006-07 season had none and are still operating at a personality deficiency.

Present day Bear Brian Urlacher, unhappy with the media, gives one word answers to reporters questions, all the while looking like a sullen, petulant teenager who had his car keys taken away by mom and dad. 1980s Bears defensive star Steve "Mongo" McMichael, when unhappy with a reporters question, took out a large knife and cut the reporters necktie in half. Now that's personality.

Of course, I'm not suggesting violent knife play should be expected of every player. Not everyone can pull that sort of activity off. Some players are the type who charm their way through life. Walter Payton was one of those. Players nicknamed "Sweetness" generally didn't draw knives on people. Payton was a delight, an intelligent, well-spoken person with a mischievous sense of humor (he really seemed to enjoy pulling the pants down on his fellow Bears, sometimes even on the field). I can't imagine Baltimore Ravens linebacker Rae Lewis pulling down a team mates pants in jest. He just doesn't look like the sort who would do that.

Speaking of Lewis and his ilk, the NFL now seems filled with either reprobates whose names frequent the police blotter or bland characters who couldn't be fun loving if their lives depended on it. While the NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, is making a good effort at cleaning out the riff-raff, there does seem to be some sort of dull torpor overcoming the sport. Is it because the NFL is legislating against individualism? Or is it because the colleges of today aren't producing free-thinkers, just mindless drones?

I don't know the answer to those questions. I don't know how to return the quality of individuality to NFL players. I do know, however, that it would be fun to see some Grabowskis again.