A while ago I wrote about my fondness for the great state of Wisconsin and how the heady aroma of dairy farm manure evokes pleasant thoughts of long ago summers spent vacationing Up North.
Thoughts of warm days spent idling poolside or lakeside or wherever are indeed pleasant but I also have a slew of memories that are perhaps a little odd, sometimes funny, sometimes tragic and all involving television.
Age of Aquarius? No, I am a child of the Age of Television, a baby suckled by the Boob Tube. When I should have been rough-housing out of doors as a child, I was instead planted firmly in front to the tv, even on vacation.
I went with my parents to Wisconsin Dells in the summer of 1972. That was when I first the first summer when television delivered weirdness to me, this time in the guise of tragedy. The summer Olympics were in Munich, the game's first return to Germany since 1936. There was the mustachioed Mark Spitz winning seven gold medals, there was Olga Korbut, but there were also Palestinian terrorists and dead Jewish athletes and Jim McKay saying, "They're all gone."
The next summer I remember watching the Watergate hearings on tv. Sure, that seems an odd viewing choice for a child, but really, who amongst us could resist Sam Ervin's eyebrows, eyebrows that seemed to have a mind of their own?
The hearings seemed bizarre to me. Nixon was not a well-liked man in our household, but to see his presidency collapsing, all the lies unfolding, on tv like that, well, let's just say it was compelling television, even for an eight-year-old.
Years later I was in Milwaukee with my wife, when on the news I saw that Mike Tyson had bitten a chunk of Evander Holyfield's ear off during a heavyweight bout. Now that's bizarre, although not surprising, I suppose, since Tyson was involved.
That same summer, in 1997, I was in a cabin in the North Woods when I saw news reports of the end of the Andrew Cunanan saga. He was a spree killer who left dead bodies in his wake from California to Chicago to Pennsylvania and finally to Florida. Some of his victims were unknown, some were famous and wealthy, like Lee Miglin and Gianni Versace. Cunanan's end came by his own hand as police were bearing down on him on a houseboat in Miami.
These are the odd events of note that I associate with Wisconsin and summer fun just as much as I do beer and brats and fudge.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sports: *
* was indicted last week by a federal grand jury on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. The story of * is a sad one really. * was once upon a time a sure-fire, first ballot lock on entry into baseball's Hall of Fame. * had it all, but the greedhog wanted more.
The slender * was a graceful outfielder and at the plate he could hit for average and power and he could steal bases too. He was quite possibly the best all around player in the game. But he had the biggest ego in the game as well. He also had one of the worst attitudes. Thin skinned and overly sensitive, * felt any criticism was the result of jealousy and/or racism. And once the likes of the Bash Brothers and Sammy Sosa, pumped up on whatever they were pumped up on, starting hitting home runs in overly prodigious numbers and "saving" the game for commissioner Bud Selig, * grew envious and felt overlooked.
* couldn't deal with the fact that he might be ever so slightly overshadowed by another player. So * joined the ranks of the pumped up. He joined the ranks of those who disgraced themselves and disgraced baseball.
In 2003, * spoke to a federal grand jury and denied steroid use. It took four years for the charges to come, but here they are. While California has an odd tendency to let celebrity offenders off the hook, no matter how brutal their crimes are, we are talking about a trial in Federal court. The Feds tend to do things a little more efficiently than the average state court. Just as the Mounties always get their man, the Feds tend to get a conviction more often than not. If that happens, after all the appeals, no matter how long it takes and no matter how much money * spends on high powered defense attorneys, * will do time.
When that happens, that's all * will ever after be: an asterisk. Forever tainted. Forever disgraced.
The slender * was a graceful outfielder and at the plate he could hit for average and power and he could steal bases too. He was quite possibly the best all around player in the game. But he had the biggest ego in the game as well. He also had one of the worst attitudes. Thin skinned and overly sensitive, * felt any criticism was the result of jealousy and/or racism. And once the likes of the Bash Brothers and Sammy Sosa, pumped up on whatever they were pumped up on, starting hitting home runs in overly prodigious numbers and "saving" the game for commissioner Bud Selig, * grew envious and felt overlooked.
* couldn't deal with the fact that he might be ever so slightly overshadowed by another player. So * joined the ranks of the pumped up. He joined the ranks of those who disgraced themselves and disgraced baseball.
In 2003, * spoke to a federal grand jury and denied steroid use. It took four years for the charges to come, but here they are. While California has an odd tendency to let celebrity offenders off the hook, no matter how brutal their crimes are, we are talking about a trial in Federal court. The Feds tend to do things a little more efficiently than the average state court. Just as the Mounties always get their man, the Feds tend to get a conviction more often than not. If that happens, after all the appeals, no matter how long it takes and no matter how much money * spends on high powered defense attorneys, * will do time.
When that happens, that's all * will ever after be: an asterisk. Forever tainted. Forever disgraced.
Sports: The Dull as Dishwater NFL
"There are teams that are fair-haired, and those that aren't so fair-haired. Some teams are named Smith, some Grabowski. We're Grabowskis."- Da Coach, Mike Ditka, January,1986
The problem with the NFL is that there are no more Grabowskis. While I enjoy watching the occasional football game, and the quality of play seems to be adequate (other than a lot of players who don't know how to actually tackle someone), what's lacking is personality.
Case in point: The Super Bowl winning Chicago Bears of the 1985-86 season had personality to spare. The Super Bowl losing Bears of the 2006-07 season had none and are still operating at a personality deficiency.
Present day Bear Brian Urlacher, unhappy with the media, gives one word answers to reporters questions, all the while looking like a sullen, petulant teenager who had his car keys taken away by mom and dad. 1980s Bears defensive star Steve "Mongo" McMichael, when unhappy with a reporters question, took out a large knife and cut the reporters necktie in half. Now that's personality.
Of course, I'm not suggesting violent knife play should be expected of every player. Not everyone can pull that sort of activity off. Some players are the type who charm their way through life. Walter Payton was one of those. Players nicknamed "Sweetness" generally didn't draw knives on people. Payton was a delight, an intelligent, well-spoken person with a mischievous sense of humor (he really seemed to enjoy pulling the pants down on his fellow Bears, sometimes even on the field). I can't imagine Baltimore Ravens linebacker Rae Lewis pulling down a team mates pants in jest. He just doesn't look like the sort who would do that.
Speaking of Lewis and his ilk, the NFL now seems filled with either reprobates whose names frequent the police blotter or bland characters who couldn't be fun loving if their lives depended on it. While the NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, is making a good effort at cleaning out the riff-raff, there does seem to be some sort of dull torpor overcoming the sport. Is it because the NFL is legislating against individualism? Or is it because the colleges of today aren't producing free-thinkers, just mindless drones?
I don't know the answer to those questions. I don't know how to return the quality of individuality to NFL players. I do know, however, that it would be fun to see some Grabowskis again.
The problem with the NFL is that there are no more Grabowskis. While I enjoy watching the occasional football game, and the quality of play seems to be adequate (other than a lot of players who don't know how to actually tackle someone), what's lacking is personality.
Case in point: The Super Bowl winning Chicago Bears of the 1985-86 season had personality to spare. The Super Bowl losing Bears of the 2006-07 season had none and are still operating at a personality deficiency.
Present day Bear Brian Urlacher, unhappy with the media, gives one word answers to reporters questions, all the while looking like a sullen, petulant teenager who had his car keys taken away by mom and dad. 1980s Bears defensive star Steve "Mongo" McMichael, when unhappy with a reporters question, took out a large knife and cut the reporters necktie in half. Now that's personality.
Of course, I'm not suggesting violent knife play should be expected of every player. Not everyone can pull that sort of activity off. Some players are the type who charm their way through life. Walter Payton was one of those. Players nicknamed "Sweetness" generally didn't draw knives on people. Payton was a delight, an intelligent, well-spoken person with a mischievous sense of humor (he really seemed to enjoy pulling the pants down on his fellow Bears, sometimes even on the field). I can't imagine Baltimore Ravens linebacker Rae Lewis pulling down a team mates pants in jest. He just doesn't look like the sort who would do that.
Speaking of Lewis and his ilk, the NFL now seems filled with either reprobates whose names frequent the police blotter or bland characters who couldn't be fun loving if their lives depended on it. While the NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, is making a good effort at cleaning out the riff-raff, there does seem to be some sort of dull torpor overcoming the sport. Is it because the NFL is legislating against individualism? Or is it because the colleges of today aren't producing free-thinkers, just mindless drones?
I don't know the answer to those questions. I don't know how to return the quality of individuality to NFL players. I do know, however, that it would be fun to see some Grabowskis again.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
A Fleeing Thought
Gentlemen Prefer Blondie. Have you ever read the comic strip "Blondie"? Let's face some facts here. Blondie is hot. And considering she's been around since 1930, she's aging very well. Dagwood is a lucky man. He's got a hot wife and he can eat those mile- high sandwiches and still stay thin.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Coincidence?
On Tuesday of this week, Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue (isn't he the chicken guy?) held a prayer vigil, beseeching the Lord above to bring relief to their drought stricken area.
On Wednesday it rained. Now that's good customer service.
On Wednesday it rained. Now that's good customer service.
The Clusterf%&#kers: Ron Paul
The white signs with blue lettering that were posted alongside Lake-Cook Rd in suburban Chicago simply asked one question, nothing more. I glanced at them as I sped by and thought they asked, "Who is Ru Paul?"
Was the noted entertainer/drag queen entering local politics? Opening a celebrity restaurant in the area? Just trying to get his name out there?
Turns out the signs actually read, "Who is Ron Paul?" Well, that's a different story, isn't it?
"And just who the heck is Ron Paul anyway?" I thought to myself.
Well, he's a guy who raised $4.2 million in one day, that's who. Turns out he's running for president and he's a Republican, although he's not like any Republican in existence today. He's certainly not like any other Republican candidate. (Also turns out, Paul bears a vague resemblance to Pat Paulsen. For you youngsters out there, Paulsen was a comedian who "ran" for president in every election year from 1968 to 1996.)
Ron Paul, if his website is to be believed, is a true conservative, the kind with genuine conservative ideals of the sort that people who once called themselves conservative Republicans used to have.
Paul is a believer in small government and strict adherence to the Constitution. He thinks the Federal Reserve stinks, the FDA incompetent and believes in the right of every American to own a firearm.
Paul also believes that Americans, when it comes to health care, should have the right to full knowledge about alternative medicines and natural remedies, probably not something the large pharmaceutical companies want people to hear. He thinks there are some people, such as veterans with Post-Traumatic Stress syndrome, who should not be allowed to own guns. According to the Chicago Tribune, Paul would like to see marijuana and prostitution decriminalized.
In a politically polarized world, Paul's views could be looked at as being all over the ideological road map. That is a problem in terms of the way voters will perceive him and for the media who don't know how to deal with anyone who can't be simplistically defined, especially with a 10-second sound bite. (Wait, I just received word from CNN and Fox News that ten seconds is too long for a sound bite, they must all be five seconds now, and full sentences spoken by candidates must contain no more than three words.)
Personally, I hope Paul gets more and more recognition. This is one interesting cat. And he actually seems to believe in what he's saying.
Further reading:
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/
Paul: A seller of ideas
Was the noted entertainer/drag queen entering local politics? Opening a celebrity restaurant in the area? Just trying to get his name out there?
Turns out the signs actually read, "Who is Ron Paul?" Well, that's a different story, isn't it?
"And just who the heck is Ron Paul anyway?" I thought to myself.
Well, he's a guy who raised $4.2 million in one day, that's who. Turns out he's running for president and he's a Republican, although he's not like any Republican in existence today. He's certainly not like any other Republican candidate. (Also turns out, Paul bears a vague resemblance to Pat Paulsen. For you youngsters out there, Paulsen was a comedian who "ran" for president in every election year from 1968 to 1996.)
Ron Paul, if his website is to be believed, is a true conservative, the kind with genuine conservative ideals of the sort that people who once called themselves conservative Republicans used to have.
Paul is a believer in small government and strict adherence to the Constitution. He thinks the Federal Reserve stinks, the FDA incompetent and believes in the right of every American to own a firearm.
Paul also believes that Americans, when it comes to health care, should have the right to full knowledge about alternative medicines and natural remedies, probably not something the large pharmaceutical companies want people to hear. He thinks there are some people, such as veterans with Post-Traumatic Stress syndrome, who should not be allowed to own guns. According to the Chicago Tribune, Paul would like to see marijuana and prostitution decriminalized.
In a politically polarized world, Paul's views could be looked at as being all over the ideological road map. That is a problem in terms of the way voters will perceive him and for the media who don't know how to deal with anyone who can't be simplistically defined, especially with a 10-second sound bite. (Wait, I just received word from CNN and Fox News that ten seconds is too long for a sound bite, they must all be five seconds now, and full sentences spoken by candidates must contain no more than three words.)
Personally, I hope Paul gets more and more recognition. This is one interesting cat. And he actually seems to believe in what he's saying.
Further reading:
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/
Paul: A seller of ideas
Monday, November 12, 2007
A Fleeing Thought
If you ever see Tony Dungy of the Indianapolis Colts without a hat you will notice that his head is shaped like a football. I wonder if his head shape may have pre-destined his current role as head coach of a football team.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
A Fleeing Thought
The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word flee as "to run away, as from trouble or danger." It also defines flee as "to pass swiftly away; vanish."
People flee all the time from all manner of dangers: fires, people with weapons, large angry dogs, etc. Thoughts can flee as well. They flee their maker, the ones with the dangerous minds, the ones with minds that ain't hooked up right. Thoughts make their escape from the mind and into the ether. Thoughts sometimes form themselves into spoken words, and sometimes become printed words. Occasionally these words forms sentences that may be pearls of wisdom or they may be non sequiturs spouted forth from a deranged hermit.
A fleeing thought looks to escape danger, hoping to find safe harbor when absorbed into the intellect of one who lives in rooms where the walls are not padded.
Blog thoughts are fleeing thoughts. Posted by a crazy diamond, they pass swiftly away. They vanish. There. There's your fleeing thought for today.
People flee all the time from all manner of dangers: fires, people with weapons, large angry dogs, etc. Thoughts can flee as well. They flee their maker, the ones with the dangerous minds, the ones with minds that ain't hooked up right. Thoughts make their escape from the mind and into the ether. Thoughts sometimes form themselves into spoken words, and sometimes become printed words. Occasionally these words forms sentences that may be pearls of wisdom or they may be non sequiturs spouted forth from a deranged hermit.
A fleeing thought looks to escape danger, hoping to find safe harbor when absorbed into the intellect of one who lives in rooms where the walls are not padded.
Blog thoughts are fleeing thoughts. Posted by a crazy diamond, they pass swiftly away. They vanish. There. There's your fleeing thought for today.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Memo to Congress: Start packing
Say what you will about Dennis Kucinich, a member of the House from Ohio who's running to be the Democratic presidential candidate. Say he's an impish, geeky fellow married to an attractive Amazon twice his height and half his age. Go ahead, say it. Don't bother, I already did.
Say what you will about Kucinich, but he does have the integrity and, more importantly, the guts, to actually bring to the floor of the House this week a call for the impeachment of Vice President Cheney. The move will fail, as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has already said the matter of impeachment is "off the table."
That's the problem. Anything that requires guts is off the table for this Democratically led Congress. If impeachment won't be discussed, at least come up with a rational way of downsizing the American presence in Iraq, firmly let President Bush know there will be no war with Iran unless he's willing to put on a uniform and go fight it himself, and then convince enough Republicans that it's in the best interest of our nation and its citizens to pass a health care bill that will help a greater number of children.
This past Friday, November 2, President Bush vetoed a water projects bill. Congress has indicated that it will override the veto, the first time that will happen in this presidency. So, let me get this straight. Congress already has the votes lined up to override a veto of a bill that will bring projects and money to their constituents, but they can't find it in their hearts and minds to muster up votes to get health care to children?
Bush and Cheney have been allowed to run rampant, allowed to create an imperial presidency not mindful of checks and balances. They were not mindful because Congress didn't attempt to make them mindful. It is up to the American people to make sure a horrible president such as the one we have now and a do-nothing, cowardly congress are never given power again. It is up to us to ensure the elected heed the will of the electors.
Next November, let's send EVERYBODY in Congress packing.
We need to start over again.
Say what you will about Kucinich, but he does have the integrity and, more importantly, the guts, to actually bring to the floor of the House this week a call for the impeachment of Vice President Cheney. The move will fail, as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has already said the matter of impeachment is "off the table."
That's the problem. Anything that requires guts is off the table for this Democratically led Congress. If impeachment won't be discussed, at least come up with a rational way of downsizing the American presence in Iraq, firmly let President Bush know there will be no war with Iran unless he's willing to put on a uniform and go fight it himself, and then convince enough Republicans that it's in the best interest of our nation and its citizens to pass a health care bill that will help a greater number of children.
This past Friday, November 2, President Bush vetoed a water projects bill. Congress has indicated that it will override the veto, the first time that will happen in this presidency. So, let me get this straight. Congress already has the votes lined up to override a veto of a bill that will bring projects and money to their constituents, but they can't find it in their hearts and minds to muster up votes to get health care to children?
Bush and Cheney have been allowed to run rampant, allowed to create an imperial presidency not mindful of checks and balances. They were not mindful because Congress didn't attempt to make them mindful. It is up to the American people to make sure a horrible president such as the one we have now and a do-nothing, cowardly congress are never given power again. It is up to us to ensure the elected heed the will of the electors.
Next November, let's send EVERYBODY in Congress packing.
We need to start over again.
The Ballad of Pretty Boy Tom
There are rules in the NFL. Steroids and other artificial muscle enhancers are against NFL law, as is spying on other teams' offensive signals. Pretty boy quarterbacks, though they may be almost inhumanly successful and efficient, should also be banned. Professional football should never be pretty.
"Broadway Joe" Namath was a party animal who showed a feminine side by claiming to wear panty hose under his uniform but this link to femininity did not make him pretty. Nobody could accuse Johnny Unitas of being anywhere in the neighborhood of pretty. Jim McMahon, John Elway, Peyton Manning, all not pretty. A case for calling the likes of Joe Montana, Steve Young and Dan Marino handsome could be made I suppose, but the word "pretty" would not be mentioned. Brett Favre on a good day might even be said to resemble handsomeness in rugged Mississippi by way of Green Bay, Wisconsin sort of way.
The natural order of things in the NFL should work against the pretty. It is a rough,violent sport and when the game is played in the weather it's supposed to be played in, there is snow and mud and frozen grass clinging to the helmets of the tackled and the players blood mixes with the earth. But the 21st century is a time when tradition is fading away in all areas of life and with the New England Patriots defeating the Indianapolis Colts in a clash of the unbeaten yesterday afternoon, Pretty Boy Tom Brady may now be considered by some to be the greatest of all quarterbacks. Ever. He's got 3 Super Bowl victories with the Patriots and they seem header for a fourth, the team at this point in the season is 9-0 and appear to be unbeatable.
How galling for the average football fan, and most fans are nothing if not average. The average fan usually has none of the talent of pro football starter (or any other pro sport), so while we are envious of their physical ability to do what they do so well on the field of play, we can look at Peyton Manning and think, well, at least I don't have that goofy pug-nosed dog looking face or we can view the bland pleasantness of Dallas QB Tony Romo and not be green with envy. I don't think any man has ever said to himself, "Gee, I wished I looked more like Rex Grossman."
But Pretty Boy Tom is a different story. He is not the boy next door who made good. The boy next door doesn't impregnate his actress girlfriend and then leave her for a model, all the while leading his team to a perfect (so far) season.
But don't misunderstand me. I don't hate Pretty Boy Tom for having vastly superior looks to mine. I don't hate Pretty Boy Tom for having skills and gifts in abundance while others lack even the merest of skills or gifts. I don't really hate him at all. That would be a waste of emotion on something as fairly insignificant as sports. I just want my NFL players to look like they've taken a few hits in life, to look like they've lived somewhere outside whatever cryogenic chamber allows Pretty Boy Tom to look as he does.
Having said all that, I hope the Patriots go 16-0 because I'm really sick of hearing those old farts (I was going to use a different f-word, but I don't want this blog to be rated R for language) from the 1972 Miami Dolphins crow about how they were the last team to go unbeaten in a season. It's time to shut them up and Pretty Boy Tom's New England Patriots are just the team to do it.
And once they go 16-0 for the season I hope they get blown out in their first playoff game, preferably to the Indianapolis Colts. Nothing personal, Tom.
"Broadway Joe" Namath was a party animal who showed a feminine side by claiming to wear panty hose under his uniform but this link to femininity did not make him pretty. Nobody could accuse Johnny Unitas of being anywhere in the neighborhood of pretty. Jim McMahon, John Elway, Peyton Manning, all not pretty. A case for calling the likes of Joe Montana, Steve Young and Dan Marino handsome could be made I suppose, but the word "pretty" would not be mentioned. Brett Favre on a good day might even be said to resemble handsomeness in rugged Mississippi by way of Green Bay, Wisconsin sort of way.
The natural order of things in the NFL should work against the pretty. It is a rough,violent sport and when the game is played in the weather it's supposed to be played in, there is snow and mud and frozen grass clinging to the helmets of the tackled and the players blood mixes with the earth. But the 21st century is a time when tradition is fading away in all areas of life and with the New England Patriots defeating the Indianapolis Colts in a clash of the unbeaten yesterday afternoon, Pretty Boy Tom Brady may now be considered by some to be the greatest of all quarterbacks. Ever. He's got 3 Super Bowl victories with the Patriots and they seem header for a fourth, the team at this point in the season is 9-0 and appear to be unbeatable.
How galling for the average football fan, and most fans are nothing if not average. The average fan usually has none of the talent of pro football starter (or any other pro sport), so while we are envious of their physical ability to do what they do so well on the field of play, we can look at Peyton Manning and think, well, at least I don't have that goofy pug-nosed dog looking face or we can view the bland pleasantness of Dallas QB Tony Romo and not be green with envy. I don't think any man has ever said to himself, "Gee, I wished I looked more like Rex Grossman."
But Pretty Boy Tom is a different story. He is not the boy next door who made good. The boy next door doesn't impregnate his actress girlfriend and then leave her for a model, all the while leading his team to a perfect (so far) season.
But don't misunderstand me. I don't hate Pretty Boy Tom for having vastly superior looks to mine. I don't hate Pretty Boy Tom for having skills and gifts in abundance while others lack even the merest of skills or gifts. I don't really hate him at all. That would be a waste of emotion on something as fairly insignificant as sports. I just want my NFL players to look like they've taken a few hits in life, to look like they've lived somewhere outside whatever cryogenic chamber allows Pretty Boy Tom to look as he does.
Having said all that, I hope the Patriots go 16-0 because I'm really sick of hearing those old farts (I was going to use a different f-word, but I don't want this blog to be rated R for language) from the 1972 Miami Dolphins crow about how they were the last team to go unbeaten in a season. It's time to shut them up and Pretty Boy Tom's New England Patriots are just the team to do it.
And once they go 16-0 for the season I hope they get blown out in their first playoff game, preferably to the Indianapolis Colts. Nothing personal, Tom.
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