Super ? Bowl

The Super Bowl is Sunday, boys and girls, so get your chips and dips ready, but please, no double dipping. Unless, of course, you're amongst really intimate friends who don't at all mind having your hideous germs transferred to them by way of a salsa laden Tostitos Scoop.

Despite the extreme probability of the Patriots winning the Big Game, the Super Bowl will be played anyway, pitting two teams from the northeast; the rest of the nation will most likely shrug its shoulders in indifference toward the game, concentrating instead on the commercials, hoping to see Clydesdales playing their own game of football, or polar bears and penguins sharing an intimate moment over a bottle of Coke. And those critters in the Blockbuster commercials are always cute, and amusing as well.

The Patriots are odds-on favorites to win (odds also favor Tom Petty performing "I Won't Back Down" during half-time with the odds heavily against seeing one of Petty's nipples as the result of a "wardrobe malfunction"); yet many outside New England, while fully understanding what the final result will be, will root for the underdog Giants. Just because.

It will not be close. Patriots 38, Giants 17. You'll be better off skipping the game and renting "Live Free or Die Hard." The outcome will be just as predictable, and more things will get blowed up real good.