The Rebate: Money For Nothing, but Chicks Will Not Be Free

The Free Dictionary by Farlex defines rebate as, "A deduction from an amount to be paid or a return of part of an amount given in payment." The "rebate" Congress is discussing at this very moment is not technically a rebate. It is not coming from money that's already been paid to the government, say, in the form of taxes. When we, the people, get money back from overpaying the government with our taxes, that is a refund.

We, the people, and we includes me, aren't asking too many questions about where this money, this rebate money, is coming from. We the people, me included, like free money, or as the Dire Straits called it, money for nothing.

But money, even money for nothing, especially money for nothing, has to come from somewhere.

So where is George W. Bush getting this money? Where is it coming from? Thin fucking air?!?! Well, yes, since, as it turns out, Thin Fucking Air is the name of the Chinese loan shark W has been doing so much business with, what with not bothering to ask Congress to pay for a war or two. W has to get the money from somewhere, you know. And when you operate your government in an underhanded manner, you have to do business with undesirables, like Chinese investors.

Of course, one has to pay back the juice one owes. Problem is, the US economy isn't doing so well, it's in a bit of dire straits (did you see how nicely I tied that in?). Loan sharks get upset when they don't get paid back. New Yorkers may wake up one day to find the Statue of Liberty has two black eyes and a broken nose. Visitors to the Mall in Washington, DC will be disappointed to learn that the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial are actually sitting in a pawn shop window in Beijing, at least until W can come up with a few billion to get them out of hock.

But seriously folks, China is the second largest foreign holder of treasury securities, behind Japan. Not only that, but Chinese investors like to buy debt, and 70% of that debt is American. What happens when you can't pay off your debt? You cough up your assets.

So we have a looming monetary crisis, which, if things go really bad, the US will be Chinas bitch. And how is W helping we, the people, with this monetary crisis? With a record $3 trillion budget, that's how, along with a deficit sure to break the record of $413 billion. Should we all be starting to learn to speak Chinese rather than Spanish? Spanish is a lot easier to learn, I'll bet you, but Chinese may be the language of our future.