On this date that lives in infamy I have come to the conclusion that I am addicted to the computer, more specifically to the Internet. I'm addicted to constantly being connected. Ironic for a man who aspires to a Howard Hughes-like seclusion. Ah, that would be the life...padding around the house with Kleenex boxes for slippers, waiting for "The Simpsons" re-runs to begin for the day...but I digress.
How did I come to this realization? Well, our security has been breached, by which I mean our computer seems to have a virus, or at the very least a really bad cold. We've had problems with the system running slowly, our security program would send pop-ups that it had blocked an intruder, I would try to go to a web site and get a message that it wasn't responding; there are obviously ghosts in this machine, viruses and trojans, cookies and spyware, cats and dogs living together, total anarchy. Ok, I exaggerate, but you get the idea. Things were not going well as far as the computer was concerned, and they still aren't. The thought of not being able to check my e-mails, to not check on the status of my eBay empire (I'm trying to sell a few things on eBay), the thought of not being able to continue my blog postings...well, that sent me into a panic. A tither, you might say. A slight depression.
Thankfully, though, I am able to check my e-mails and, apparently, post to my blog. But I must say I was very surprised at my reaction. I have apparently become part of the technological world to an extent that I hadn't imagined possible. But I'm in and in deep into this technological world and I don't think there's any turning back. It's too late, I am too reliant on this machine.
I do need to step back and assess though. I probably don't need to check my e-mails twenty times a day, nor daily and religiously read the Internet version of the New York Times, nor surf a few sites, just to feel a little better, a little more calm, like a smoker taking a drag on a cigarette.
That's my Christmas gift to myself this year: self-awareness, the knowledge that I need to constantly be aware that I may be becoming a tad obsessive, be it about my need to be connected or my need to eat my weight in sugar products every day. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go do some ironing. And maybe have some M&M's. No! I must be strong! But they're the fun-size! Yeah, but I'll eat a half-dozen of the bags.
Be strong this Christmas.
I know how you feel. When I went to take my cross country trip it wasn't the predictable worries that consumed me. I wasn't worried about being mugged, raped, my car breaking down, running out of funds for the gas that had just spiked to over $3 a gallon, being attacked by bears, or any of the other things people kept telling me might happen to me. Nope, my big worry was "How will I go without e-mail for a month?!" The first week I did jones for it like an addict... but then as technology cleared my system & I was left with postcards & the occasional phone call as the last vestiges of modern entertainment & communication... it became very liberating. Next time I won't even take a phone. :)
ReplyDeleteCaffeine can help stem the panic sometimes. Technology controls us much more than we realize. Power failures bring out the worst in us. No tv, no computer, no heat (or air), no light. We freak. The last time that happened we lit candles, lit the fireplace and drank some beer. It was good. But when the power came back on an hour later so did the tv, the lights etc. We went back to what we were comfortable with. I sometimes wonder what we would do if it lasted for days, weeks.
ReplyDeleteAlso, before I forget John, avoid the whole virus, spyware thing. Get a Mac.