1. Sheetrock. How, you may wonder, does the smell of Sheetrock evoke thoughts of Christmas? What, some others of you may be asking, is Sheetrock? Sheetrock, referred to commonly as "mud," is the substance that gets spread over drywall before the drywall is painted. It is applied to the drywall with a large knife-type thing (yeah, I know, this is getting pretty technical) and then left to dry for twenty-four hours before it is sanded smooth, at which point it can be painted.
Again, what's this got to do with Christmas? Well, there have been a few times in my married life when, for some reason that defies logic, I, sometimes in cahoots with my step-son, who is knowledgeable in the ways of home remodeling and what-not, have taken on a small project, such as painting the bathroom. This year, I painted the kitchen. Each time one of these projects was done, mud needed to be applied, either to smooth walls that had been wall-papered or to fill holes in the wall. And every time mud is applied I have sanded. And sanding creates dust. Lots of it. Lots of light grey-ish dust that gets over everything and smells like...well, like dust. It's actually kind of a peculiar smell, somewhat akin to when a road is being torn up and the worker is jack-hammering a piece of concrete to the point where it becomes a fine particulate matter...yes, similar to that. And after the mudding comes the...
2. Paint. Modern latex paint does not stink up the joint like the paint I recall from my long distant childhood, which is a good thing. One used to have to throw open all the windows when painting to get some good ventilation, but now it doesn't seem to be so bad. Still, there is an odor. And when I paint, well, I am not a handy man, nor am I really super neat when it comes to painting. When the job is done, there may be paint in some places where it doesn't belong, such as the stove, the floor, and items other than the wall where the paint should be. This paint needs to be cleaned off. This is when I use a product called...
3. Goof Off. I don't know how the makers came up with this name, if it's some sort of insult to the less handy or the less clean, but I do know it works. And it smells to high heaven, a fragrance very similar to the magic marker you used to huff in grade school to get "high", except the smell of Goof Off is a thousand times stronger. You want to huff it a little, but just using it for its intended purposes is making you a little queasy, so you don't. You behave yourself. Because Santa knows if you've been good or if you've been huffing products from the hardware store.
4. Perfume. Ah, this is a lot nicer than all that other manly, home repair stuff. I remember my aunt, and probably my grandmother as well, wearing perfume at Christmas get togethers when I was a child. I don't remember my mother wearing any. But still, when my aunt, or any other woman who comes to our house on Christmas Eve, is wearing perfume, I'm reminded of Christmases past and I know there will be a party goin' on.
5. Windex. Ok, I suppose this may another non-traditional choice for a treasured Christmas olfactory memory, but Windex is what I use to clean the mirrors in the bathroom and the windows before the Christmas Eve party we have in our home, so the smell of Windex is always a pleasing one to me. When I'm giving the house it's one big top-to-bottom cleaning of the year and I smell that Windex, I know Christmas-time is here.
6. Lemon Pledge. This goes hand-in-hand with the Windex. I'm dusting and wiping and vacuuming and I clean the furniture with Lemon Pledge and I know it's Christmas-time.
7. Rumpleminze. This is 100-proof schnapps that I've been very partial to at Christmas for many years now. Too much of this stuff will lead to the 12 Step Program of Christmas, if you're not careful. Due to my being overserved last year (by me) I'm going to have to tone things down a bit this holiday, and perhaps go from a 100-proof schnapps to an 80-proof vodka. My step-son Bryan recommends Chopin (the vodka, not the composer). I think that'll work.
8. Beer and wine. At the holidays, I like to have an ample supply of both for our guests, in addition to the wine that is brought by family and friends. I lean towards imported or higher end beers (yes, I'm a beer snob) but I'll drink wine from anywhere in the world at any price (preferably a low price), as long it tastes good.
We have a small second bedroom that we use as a computer room; once upon a time I had hoped to make it my opium den, but that never panned out. At Christmas it becomes the bar area and when guests begin to arrive and the bottles of social lubricant are opened, the little room takes on the aroma of a tavern. I like that.
9. Burger King. Say what now? Burger King? A treasured Christmas aroma? Well, yes. The King on Dundee Rd. in Wheeling, IL sells bags of ice for 99 cents. A better deal is not to be found in the immediate area so that's where I go to get ice for the chest that will cool down the various libations that need cooling for our Christmas Eve dinner. And of course, as I approach the Burger King in my car, I can smell those Whoppers broiling away inside the restaurant. Smells pretty good, too. So, yes, Burger King, is one of my twelve smells of Christmas.
10. O Tannenbaum. We like to get a real Christmas tree every year. I just think a real one looks great, and smells great, too. Our tradition is to go shopping about a week or so before Christmas and find ourselves a good tree at a local nursery. My wife will search and search, walking around in the cold, shaking the trees, turning the tree to see it from every angle, and invariably she will choose the heaviest tree. All the better for my struggle to get the tree upstairs to our condo.
I must admit I also wear the same Bulls sweatshirt and White Sox jacket, both of which I've had for over a decade, each year we shop for our tree. Whether I do this out of tradition or superstition, I don't know.
11. Onions, celery, and whatever else my wife, Jayne, puts in the stuffing. Jayne will cut up the onion and celery the night before Christmas Eve (would that make it Christmas Eve Eve?) and the aromas unleashed in the kitchen are just wonderful. I know that the next day will be a great dinner with family and friends. Food aromas can be fantastic stimulants to memories and warm feelings. They provide comfort and joy, and that sounds like Christmas to me.
12. Turkey. A turkey roasting in the oven to be exact. The aroma is mouth-watering. It's the best. It's Christmas.
No comments:
Post a Comment