That's all right, mama, I'll just have a salad instead

Recently, on August 16th, the 30th anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley was celebrated. Well, maybe not celebrated. Does one celebrate a death, especially one that occurred, allegedly, in the bathroom? Probably not. Let's say the anniversary was noted. I personally noted it and paid tribute to the king by making myself Elvis' favorite snack, the fried peanut butter and banana sandwich.

I know some of you are probably thinking that sounds gross and well, yeah, it was a little gross. But it was a good, wholesome, God-fearing, Elvis-loving kind of gross.

I'm not sure what possessed me to make it. No one dared me and while I certainly enjoy the music of Elvis I don't consider myself fanatical to the point where I would clog my arteries in tribute to him. But I do love food and I am the kind of kind of guy who will try most anything once. So I made the sandwich.

I mashed the ripe banana, I lightly toasted the white bread, then smeared banana mush on one slice of bread and peanut butter on the other slice and fried it up in a pan with butter.

How was it? Well, as I was eating it I think my heart stopped and I may have lost consciousness briefly. These minor health issues may have clouded my judgment but I think the sanwhich was...ok. I must say I ate the whole thing. I felt I had to; there's children starving in distant foreign countries, children who are suffering from the pangs of hunger and the fear that Angelina Jolie or Madonna might try to adopt them, so I felt obliged to clean my plate. And so clean it I did.

Nothing fried in butter can be all bad; I think it was that slight saltiness from the butter mixing with the sweetness of the banana and the peanut butter that made the whole mess edible. I'm glad I tried it. Will I do it again next August 16th? Doubtful. I will, however, not hesitate to shoot the tv if I see Robert Goulet appear. Just kidding. I love Robert Goulet. Well, ok, I like him. Sort of.

If you want to be like Elvis and get a hunka-hunka clogged arteries before you check into the Heartache Hotel (it may so be lonely there, but only until the paramedics arrive), here's the recipe.

If you want to see a video someone patched together using clips of the good looking, young (and thin) Elvis, look no further. The video is coupled with one of his earliest hits, one that influenced bands like the Clash and the Stray Cats, and one of my favorites, "That's All Right, Mama."

Thank you. Thank you very much.