Uhhh, I never finished college

It's May 20th and I'm calling it now.

Here's my electoral college predictions, barring any unforeseen insanity, such as John McCain strangling a reporter with his bare hands (which would help him win in a landslide of unprecedented proportions) or Barack Obama doing something really stupid, like making Hillary Clinton his running mate.

With my unrivaled and unequaled prognosticating abilities, I am calling the 2008 presidential election for Barack Obama. The Age of the Aged White Man will come to an end and the age of...of what...the Age of Change will begin.

Here's how I see the electoral map. I see it in Blue and Red.

Sorry.

Obama will sweep the West Coast from California to Washington state. Surprisingly, he'll also win in Idaho and Montana, two states one traditionally think of as bastions of Republicanism, but are now, I think, filled with independent thinking, Republican leaning voters who are fed up with what the GOP has become, and John McCain won't be enough of a maverick for them. To Obama those states will go.

In the West and South-West, McCain will take his home state of Arizona, as well as Nevada, Colorado, and Wyoming. Republicans will stay strong in the breadbasket states like Kansas, Missouri, and Oklahoma. But their neighbors to the north will, oddly, go for Obama: Nebraska, North and South Dakota. Add to these the traditionally independent thinking Minnesota and you've got something going on. Also, the I's will have it: Iowa and Illinois will vote for Obama. Breaking up this patch of solid blue will be Wisconsin, a swing state that will swing to a Republican tune in 2008.

I think history will be made in the Deep South. Blue will cover Dixie from Louisiana through Mississippi and Alabama and into Georgia. Tennessee and Kentucky will stay Republican.

The Northeast will be solidly Democratic from Maine to New York. Maryland and Virginia will go for Obama, as will South Carolina but not North. Don't ask, I don't know why.

McCain will carry Ohio and Pennsylvania, as well as Florida and Michigan, states irredeemably pissed off at the Democratic party and their botched handling of the primaries. To no avail though. Obama will end up with 304 electoral votes, McCain 234, thus electing the first (semi-) black to the presidency. The Age of Change will be upon us. Thankfully. We could elect a goat to be president and have better results than we had with W.

Bear in mind, I predicted the Packers would win the Super Bowl, and my prediction for this year in baseball is for the Cubs to go all the way.

Think you can do better? Go to 270towin.com and crunch your own numbers.

Fleeing Thought: Dead Yankees

-The New York Yankees are in last place. Joe Torre should consider himself lucky to have been shoved from that sinking ship.

Fleeing Thoughts: Finally, the Democrats Call It What It Is

-Barack Obama wants to talk to Iranian leaders, I guess about their general nuttiness or the weather in that part of the world or the concept of countries as stinking corpses or whatever. There seems to be confusion over idea of chatting with nutbags; Bush calls it appeasement but it is what his own defense secretary says we should do, and there is precedent for it. The Soviet Union was an Evil Empire with enough nuclear missiles aimed at US to obliterate US many times over. Yet we never stopped speaking to them. We talked their ears off for over 50 years and, ultimately, we were victorious. The West, and quite specifically, the United States, won the Cold War. By contrast, like a young girl throwing a hissy fit, we stopped talking to Castro soon after he took over Cuba, and he retained power for almost 50 years. Talking works. It is not always appeasement. Sometimes communicating is effective foreign policy, but that's not something the Bush administration would know anything about. It mystifies me why McCain would attach himself to W on this particular issue, or any issue regarding the Middle East, a region where W has been spectacularly unsuccessful. It's these quirks of thinking on McCain's part that make me worry about his decision making abilities.

-Why did it take so many years for a Democrat to have the balls to call out Bush on his never ending stream of bullshit? Where have they been? Did Democratic leaders all of a sudden look down and notice they had a set?

Ten Years Gone

his was an American story, his was the story of America a difficult birth, a birth that left scars scrawny child, not much hope for success, no one looked at the child and thought it would amount to anything grew up without much except an innate confidence and a desire to succeed fed on the disdain of others, the other world, an older world worked hard, up from the bottom, got himself dirty had some success, people came around then more and more and more and then got knocked down, more than once and more than once people thought he was down and out for good came back stronger than ever down, never out, and never a look of fear in his eyes, only determination Francis was born of swagger and so was America Francis came back swingin' Francis was swingin' and so was America every day was a summer day by the pool with a cool martini he was the Boss, the Boss of Bosses, and so was America, so he was so we were, hate and love, extreme heat, blue cold, good cheer and dark thoughts, a warm embrace with a slight menace, an amorous prude, a rule breaking gentleman, so Francis was so we were, so went Francis and so went America what the world needs now is a new Frank Sinatra cuz there's still a fierce glimmer in the eyes of some, and I don't think it's going to go away



Quite frankly, I don't think anybody could have summed up things better than Bono at the 1994 Grammys:

Frank never did like Rock and Roll
And he's not crazy about guys wearing earrings either
But he doesn't hold it against me
And anyway, the feeling is not mutual

Rock and Roll people love Frank Sinatra because Frank has got what we want:
swagger and attitude
he's big on attitude
Serious attitude, bad attitude
Frank's the Chairman of the bad
Rock and Roll plays at being tough but this guy, well, he's the boss
The boss of bosses
The man
The big bang of pop
I'm not gonna mess with him, are you?

Who's this guy that every city in America wants to claim as their own?
This painter who lives in the desert, this first-rate, first-take actor
This singer who makes other men poets
Boxing clever with every word
Talking like America
Tough, straight-up, in headlines
Comin' through with the big stick, the aside, the quiet compliment
Good cop, bad cop, all in the same breath
You know his story 'cause it's your story
Frank walks like America -- cock-sure

It's 1945 and the U.S. Cavalry are trying to get their asses out of Europe,
but they never really do
They're part of another kind of invasion AFR -- American Forces Radio (sic)
Broadcasting a music that'll curl the stiff upper-lip of England and the rest of the world
Paving the way for Duke Ellington, the big band, Tommy Dorsey
And right out in front... Frank Sinatra
His voice as tight as a fist
Opening at the end of a bar
Not on the beat, over it, playing with it, splitting it like a jazz man, like Miles Davis
Turning on the right phrase and the right song
Which is where he lives, where he lets go, where he reveals himself
His songs are his home and he lets you in
But you know that to sing like that you've gotta have lost a couple of fights
To know tenderness and romance you've gotta have had your heart broken

People say that Frank hasn't talked to the press,
they wanna know how he is, what's on his mind
But you know Sinatra's out there more nights than most punk bands
Selling his story through the songs
Telling and articulate in the choice of those songs
Private thoughts on a public address system
Generous

This is the conundrum of Frank Sinatra
Left and right brain hardly talking
Boxer and painter, actor and singer, lover and father, bandman and loner
Troubleshooter and troublemaker
The champ who would rather show you his scars than his medals
He may be putty in Barbara's hands
But I'm not gonna mess with him, are you?
Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to welcome a man heavier than the Empire State, more
connected than the Twin Towers, as recognizable as the Statue of Liberty, and living
proof that God is a Catholic!
Will you welcome the King of New York City, Francis Albert Sinatra!

Fleeing Sports/TV Thought: The Tools of Ignorance

At 3 a.m. I'm channel surfing and come across "The Tim McCarver Show." Who is allowing this insufferable bore, this former wearer of the tools of ignorance, on television? The only thing he has going for him is that he doesn't suck nearly as much as Joe Morgan.

Fleeing Thoughts: Blood Sports

-Cedric Benson says he wasn't intoxicated when he was arrested for drunken boating the other day in Texas. Dude, look at your mug shot. If this is your sober face, that explains your lack of production on the football field.

-Sports guy Mike North on Cedric and his water craft: "His boat only goes two yards, then stalls."

-Barack Obama says the gas tax holiday proposed by Hilary Clinton and John McCain would only save consumers about $25 over the summer. Yeah, well, that's 25 bucks I wouldn't have otherwise, Senator. And yes, the proposal is pandering, but it's the kind of pandering I like. Who says you can't have a short-term pandering solution while you go about figuring out a long-term solution? Go ahead and pander a little, Senator Obama. You might actually win the election then.

-It's all about legitimacy, who has it and who doesn't. Clinton and Obama both appeared on Bill O'Reilly's show on Fox recently. Why would they choose to legitimize someone who is nothing more than an angry liar? Neither of them are going to win over the average Fox News viewer. Bad move. Don't they realize how it makes their candidacies less legitimate? Ralph Nader is looking better all the time.

-Might it be time to start a serious conversation about the end of horse racing? With the death of another horse after a Kentucky Derby, it might be a time to re-evaluate whether this "sport" is really just another way of inflicting cruelty on animals. Dick Duchossois, who runs Arlington Park Race Track, referred to horses in a radio interview with WGN's Spike O'Dell as "athletes." Athletes they may be, but Kerry Wood never got euthanized after any one of his physical break downs.

Why Wasn't This Done Sooner?