I Deride, You Decide

Oh my God! It's happening! Rush Limbaugh is turning into Orson Welles! Hey, Rush, maybe you should switch to amphetimines, you could maybe drop a few pounds. Really now, what's with the all black outfit and no tie? You look like an obese ninja. But seriously, I'm concerned for your health. A hundred pounds overweight and smoking those cigars? Your heart won't stand for that. Oh, wait, you don't have a heart. I keed...but, come on, it looks like you're wearing a formal evening tent rather than a suit. I got a million of 'em. Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.

Response to the response to the response to, uh...

The Race Card

Eric Holder, the new United States Attorney General, said recently that we are "a nation of cowards" when it comes to racial matters.

Funny, I thought we had gotten past the race thing with the election of a black president, one with a very African sounding name no less. I guess some people haven't gotten past the race thing, or perhaps choose not to. Eric Holder seems to be one of those people.

Holder may be right to a certain extent though. Were I to criticize Holder, some might call me a racist. You see, I'm white, Holder is black, and there are still those in this, the 21st century, who think it inappropriate for a white to comment upon a black. So some white people might think twice about making an honest criticism for fear of being called a racist. But that means they are cautious, not cowardly.

As Maureen Dowd observed in the New York Times, "We need leaders to help us through our crises, not provide us with crude evaluations of our character. And we don’t need sermons from liberal virtuecrats, anymore than from conservative virtuecrats."

I hardly think America is a nation of cowards when it comes to any matter. I do think perhaps that politicians are behind the curve when it comes to most things, including race. The American public has moved forward, some politicians obviously have not.

I dislike a lot of things. I dislike a lot people too. I dislike some blacks, I dislike some whites, I dislike people from all the colors of the human spectrum. However, I'd like to think that when I judge people, and I do certainly judge people, I judge people not by skin color but by their actions and words. I can tell by your actions and words, Eric Holder, that you're one of those people I do not like.

Writing Lesson

I'm not a good writer, I'm not really good at anything, but I think I know what it takes to be a good writer. These are probably the same things it takes to be good at anything: confidence, a sense of timing, and the industriousness to do your homework.

I had a thought yesterday about Bobby Jindal after I heard part of his speech after President Obama's Not the State of the Union address. I thought he sounded like Kenneth, a character on "30 Rock." (Watching videos of the two, they also share physical similarities.)

Regarding this thought, I didn't do my homework, meaning I didn't write this thought down on paper, a note I could have referred back to when mentioning Jindal in a blog posting yesterday.

I also lacked the confidence to put this Jindal/Kenneth observation in the posting, mostly because after I had the thought, it dawned on me I might be crazy, and that the governor of Louisiana can't possibly sound anything at all like a sitcom character.

I should have made the observation yesterday, but I have no sense of timing, no sense of urgency. Because of this I was beaten to the punch. Just this morning I was listening to a radio show during which the host played an audio tape of Jindal from his speech, then played one of Kenneth from "30 Rock." You can also find a video on YouTube that has Jindal giving his speech with a voice over from Kenneth.

So now, finally, the final words on:

Bobby Jindal. There is no doubt he sounds like a goofy character on an NBC sitcom. His days as the face, and voice, of the new Republican party are over, unless he can learn to speak like a normal human being.

The Last Word on...

The Oscars. I liked the show. I didn't sit through the whole show, I never can. I'm too antsy to sit still in one place for that long, nor does my attention span last more than a few minutes, and I just hate sitting through commercials. But what I did see of the show, and I saw more of it than in years past, I liked. I though the stage looked great, very Hollywood, and I though Hugh Jackman did a good job. I liked the idea of having five previous Oscar winners present the current nominees. Certainly, I think the nominees enjoyed it. There were some not so great moments, like a poorly done tribute to those who have passed away in the last year, and a sadly sick looking Jerry Lewis. But, all-in-all, I enjoyed the Oscars.

By the by, after the Oscars telecast was over, previews were shown of upcoming movies. Nice idea, made all the better since it was accompanied by an out of this world version of Dylan's "Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat." Didn't know who it was doing this fuzz toned, souped up song. Turns out it's Beck and it can be found on a compilation CD called "War Child Presents Heroes." Proceeds will benefit children affected by war and it has cover versions of another generations songs as done by the new and present generation. Way cool.

NASCAR. I just don't fucking care. I just do not fucking care. I like to go fast in cars, and I like watching cars roar down a drag strip, but I just don't give a damn about some people I've never heard of driving souped up stock cars in circles.

The Cubs. You guys are going to win a lot of games this season. And when the post season arrives, you're going to stink it up again. I give up on you, and for all you people bleeding Cubbie blue, save yourselves. This team isn't worth the time of day. And while I'm at it...

Wrigley Field. Yeah, I know, it's a baseball shrine. It looks great on TV. I don't care. I'm not watching the Cubs for one second any more, and I sure as hell don't have any interest in driving to Wrigleyville to see a game, or a concert, for that matter. And don't tell me about public transportation! I don't want to hear it. Public transportation is a giant pain in the ass. If there's money in the stimulus bill Comrade Obama got passed to build one of those high speed bullet trains from the door of my house to the front gate of Wrigley, then I might consider going. Otherwise, forget it.

The not a State of the Union speech. I still haven't watched it. I just can't. Barack Obama is everything George W. Bush was not: intelligent, impeccably dressed, English speaking. Still, I can't bring myself to watch it. Maybe it's because I know he wants me to. He wants everybody to watch him. He wants everyone to like him. So I won't. And I don't.

Joe Biden. The hair plugs didn't take and the face lift makes him look ridiculous. I'd rather be looking at Sarah Palin sitting over the president's right shoulder.

Bobby Jindal. What were the Republicans thinking? "Hey! We've got a skinny guy with a dark complexion too! We're inclusive! No, really! Stop laughing!"

Tiger Woods. Greatest golfer ever. A ton of money. A good looking blond Swedish wife. No hint of scandal. What does this man owe the Devil for all of this?!? Or does he only owe hard work and clean living? Ok, these probably won't be my last words on Tiger Woods.

Illinois Politicians. They've done it. They've finally, really done it. You maniacs! The Illinois Politicians, and you know who they are, have finally, irredeemably driven home the point to me that politicians do not give a damn about anything but power and money. If they happen to do some good, it is incidental to their power- and money-grabbing. And this applies to all politicians, not just those from Illinois, but it's the current crop of Illinoisans in power that have pushed me over the edge. They just don't care. They will do what they please, no matter the will of the people. And you, the electorate, are partly to blame. You do not hold their feet to the fire. The old cliche is that people get the government they deserve. And that's sure as hell what we're getting, America. Don't blame me, I tried to warn you. But, whatever. I don't care anymore. I'm done. I'm now apolitical. I'm like a Frenchman. I just don't care who's in power. And I owe it mostly to the politicians of Illinois.

Trucking Duck

Hard to be too depressed when you see a duck in a truck.

1978/1979

1978 is back. In general, the looks and sounds of the late '70s and early '80s are making a comeback. Look at all the bands out there now, especially the bands with the article "the" in their names, like the Killers, the Fray, the Kooks. They sound like band names from the late '70s punk/New Wave explosion, like the Sex Pistols, the Clash, the Jam or, on the lighter side of things, the Knack and the Romantics. Certainly, sartorially speaking, these new bands are dressing in an updated version of New Wave uniforms, what with their skinny ties and suits. I just think it's nice that men are wearing suits again.

What's my point? I'm not sure I have one. What brought me here? Hearing the mostly forgotten Tom Robinson Band on the radio yesterday, on a show called Saturday Morning Flashback no less. Slightly punkish attitude, with great sing-along songs and a clean look. And check out Robinson himself. Nice teeth, for an Englishman.



While we're feeling nostalgic, let's check out this great song/horrible video from XTC.

Stimulate This!

Louie Bellson 1924-2009

I'd forgotten how good Louie Bellson was, and what a great band the Tonight Show had. And yeah, I miss Johnny, too. Nice to see him on this clip.

Obama Watch: The President Should Call for Burris' Resignation

John Kass writes in today's Chicago Tribune that the political stink bomb that is Senator Roland Burris is partly the fault of President Obama. I will grant the fact that Kass is fervently anti-Obama, even more so than I am. I am perhaps too lazy to be fervent. Sometimes this kind of fervent dislike can keep a person from making sense.

However, Kass does have a point. When then Governor Blagojevich nominated Burris there was quite a flap about the whole affair. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid had said that he would refuse to seat any Blagojevich choice for Obama's vacated senate seat. Illinois Sen. Dick Durbin tried to stall the whole thing. Burris testified under oath before a special Illinois legislature committee that he was clean as a whistle. Obama, in hopes of having a splendid, controversy-free inauguration, quietly put the screws to Reid and Durbin, telling them to seat Burris so the whole mess could just go away.

Now, I can't say as I blame Obama. He justifiably wanted to bask in the warmth of his day in the sun. He wanted his inaugural day to go perfectly, without the scent of scandal in the air. And that's what happened. The stench of Illinois politics did not waft over the capitol that day. And of course, Obama may have actually thought Burris was clean. I mean, look at the guy. Burris appears pretty harmless.

The problem for Obama is that sooner or later the you-know-what floats to the top and starts to stink in the heat of those glaring lights from the media. Turns out Burris is quite possibly a liar, and not a good one either. And that indeed does reflect poorly for Obama. With the aid of hindsight, Obama should have a demanded a special election to fill his senate seat, so that the people of Illinois could have a say about who represents them. You know, something democratic. But to hope for such a thing was apparently too audacious.

What we are all stuck with now is another Illinois politician who simply won't, or is unable to, tell the truth. Burris so badly wanted to be senator, he may very possibly have lied under oath about raising money for Blagojevich at the same time he was asking the governor to appoint him to the Senate. Because of this Roland Burris should resign. It would be best for him, and best for the people of Illinois. But if Burris is anything like the disgraced governor who appointed him, someone who puts his own delusional, narcissistic needs before anything else, we will be stuck with Burris until he is either indicted for perjury or is voted out of office in 2010.

Roland Burris is a man obsessed with how he will be remembered. His already built tombstone, a massive monument to himself, lists every accomplishment, big and small and sometimes very small, that Burris has achieved in his life. He wanted more than anything to be able to list "US Senator" on that tombstone. Memo to Roland Burris: Even if you resign now, you can put US Senator on your tombstone. Nothing requires you to state just how long a time you were senator.

What will be really interesting to see is if President Obama, quietly or otherwise, puts the same kind of pressure on Burris to resign that he used on Reid and Durbin to get Burris seated in the Senate.

Obama Watch: The Irony of It All

Interesting, and ironic, that Obama's campaign manager gave a speech at the National Press Club...from which the press was banned. The more things "change" in Washington...

The Gettysburg Address

Abraham Lincoln: 200 Candles

Happy Birthday Abe.

Let’s think about you for a few moments on this, the 200th anniversary of your birth.

Would it in any way be possible for you to be elected in the 21st century? I’m thinking not.

Look at you. You were, and I think you might have agreed with me on this, a homely man. The modern electorate had no desire for the homely. You would, at the very least, need a makeover.

Your formal education was, to put it mildly, lacking. At best you had a couple of years of formal education spread out over your childhood. That just wouldn’t do. We now live in a world, Abe, where many thought a Naval Academy education wasn’t good enough for a presidential candidate, certainly not compared with someone who matriculated from Harvard. You did however do a lot of reading on your own, so I guess we could say you were home schooled. That’s quite fashionable these days. We might be able to get away with that, as long as no one asks too many questions.

In your favor, you had very little legislative experience, which is a good thing. No record to run on, no way to judge you other than on what you say about yourself. That’s where you would shine. For an uneducated man you wrote speeches worthy of Shakespeare, only less dull and far more easily understood. No record to hold against you and you speak well. Those two things just might get you elected.

Unfortunately, you didn’t shoot hoops? Of course, they didn’t have basketball in your day, did they? We would have to find you a sport. We like our presidents to be athletic. Wood splitting? Well, I guess that might work. Reagan and George W. Bush like to clear brush on their ranches, although we may not want to draw too many comparisons to Bush right now. Not a good time. Too soon. Not with the Second Great Depression still going strong.

So what exactly did the voters, and all the people, at least in the North, see in Abraham Lincoln? They saw what we still see today. A man with not just intelligence, but wisdom, and compassion.

Lincoln would go on throughout his presidency to prove those perceptions of him correct. Lincoln had the wisdom to be humble in victory and defeat. The wisdom to show compassion for a vanquished foe in order to begin a healing process for the country.

Wisdom and humility are uncommon attributes in any person, much less a politician. Lincoln exemplified those attributes. He was able use those rare qualities to stir the country with his words, words that live on in speeches like the Gettysburg Address (“a government of the people, by the people, for the people) and his second inaugural address (“with malice toward none, and charity for all”).

Voters in 1860 also saw something in Lincoln that we still see today: ourselves. Lincoln the man, not the deity some make him to be now, had some of the same life problems as everyone else. His marriage could be difficult at time, he suffered from bouts of depression, he felt the pain of losing two children.Those are the travails of everyday people.

Yet this person with the problems of the ordinary man transcended his problems in a way that few have, before or since. Lincoln managed to prove true the saying all Americans have heard since childhood: anyone can grow up to be president. Anyone, even a man with the humblest of beginnings (let's not forget that log cabin birth), a paltry education and a spotty record of political success.

Abraham Lincoln proved that the American Dream can indeed come true, and that is a fact that resonates with all people even to this very day.

Earth Hour 2009

Earth Hour is March 28, 2009 at 8:30 p.m.

Abe and Charlie

February 9, 1809 was the birthday of Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin. How about that for a coincidence? An article in the Chicago Tribune chronicles the amazing lives of these two men, who arguably, or perhaps not so arguably, changed the world.

Both Lincoln and Darwin are still written about prodiguously, their lives and accomplishments are taught in schools. Lincoln is truly an American icon and his words and work are dissected by authors, historians and everyday people. Darwin's theory of evolution is to this day open to debate.

It is really is quite the happenstance that these men known world wide 200 years after their births share a birthday.

My name is Otto, and I like to get blotto

This is pretty funny. Only in America.

Obama Watch: Trick of the Light, or, Friends, Americans, Countrymen, lend me an ear

I have watched the first prime time press conference given by President Obama. Having viewed it, I have come to the conclusion, and this is only my opinion, but it is now my deep rooted belief, based upon keen observation, that the President's right ear is slightly larger than his left. This could be fact, or it could be a trick of the light. My wife feels that Mr. Obama's right ear sits higher than his left, which could have led to my belief that it is larger. Whatever. I incite. You decide. Let me know what you think, America. You too, rest of the world!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

IMSM Drag Racing Series: Bring the Noise

This is a preview of an upcoming DVD featuring the IMSM racing series. Aside from having one of my favorite AC/DC songs in the background, this video gives you a good idea of the noise that these cars bring. Like the actual drag race itself, the noise is short-lived but intense, sort of like an AC/DC song. Just as the sight of these souped up stock cars is a vision to behold, that sound of engines roaring and tires spinning is a big part of the drag racing experience. When the cars bring the noise, you know racing fun is on the way. Check out the video and you'll see what I mean.

Cracker "Hand Me My Inhaler"

Nice title. From the new Cracker album, "Sunrise In the Land of Milk and Honey."

Lincoln Watch: Emancipate Yes, Homogenate No

The 200th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's birthday doth nigh approacheth, so I might as well jump on the bandwagon and present some material on the president who is truly the favorite son of Illinois, Abraham Lincoln. And to start off Lincoln Watch, I present a Stephen Colbert interview with historian Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Funny Political News

Christian Bale Parody
Joke of the Day

Working Class Economic Stimulus Plan

Here's an idea my friend CJ Williams came up with. It's really the most reasonable economic stimulus package I've seen. If you agree, share it with your senators and representatives, the president, your family and friends, and anybody else you think should read this.

Working Class Economic Stimulus Plan

It is obvious that the American economy needs a stimulus plan. It is also unfortunately obvious that the plans put into effect within the last year, the taxpayer rebate and the financial system bailout, have not been effective.

The American economic system, the one that has served this country and the world so well throughout history, is in dire straits. Without serious and immediate relief the American economy may, to paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, perish from this earth.

What is needed is genuine economic stimulus, a plan that touches every working American.

Our stimulus package is simple. What we propose is to find the median income over the last ten years of every tax paying worker, cut that number in half and place that amount in the hands of the people who have earned this money so they can go out and stimulate the economy.

How would this help? Imagine every working American has a half year of their income, to spend or save as they please. The money could be used to spend on needed goods and services, to pay off debt, to place in savings and checking accounts. This would give every American the opportunity to pay down their mortgage and help offset some of the loss in value their home has seen and give them the much needed ability to re-finance the balance of their mortgage to make things more manageable. This would in effect still get the money back into the banks which would reduce the debt write offs on possible foreclosures and open credit back up for the common American which will stimulate spending again. If money is used to buy Big Macs or big SUV’s, it helps the economy. If money is placed in big banks or small savings and loans, it is money that is put back into the system that can then be used to help others. However the money is used, it will have a positive effect at every level of the economy, local, state, national and even international.

You think it’s expensive for Uncle Sam to spend this kind of money? Yes, absolutely. It was also expensive to send out rebate checks in amounts too small to make a difference. It was also expensive to bail out Wall Street without placing any restrictions on how, or if, the money would be spent, and again, it made no difference. The economy only got worse.

We live in a land where the government is “of the people, by the people and for the people.” Rather than have a big, bloated legislative bill that gives money to some industries and not others and is full of pork, let’s have a bill that will help every sector of the economy and every American.

Place the money of the people back in the hands of the people and you will see the economic rebirth this country needs.

"We're going to be in the Hudson"

Listen to this recording of the conversation between the pilot of US Airways Flight 1549 and the air traffic controller. Everyone is very calmly speaking about something potentially very deadly. I get nervous just listening to it.

What's really freakin' amazing to me is how calmly pilot Chesley Sullenberger informs air traffic control that "We'll be in the Hudson," as if he did this every day. If I were the controller my response would have, "You'll be where now?" Guess it's good I don't do that for a living.

Obama Watch: Think W. Was Arrogant?

President Obama, writing about Republican opposition to his stimulus package, and the Republican urge for tax cuts, said this:

"I reject these theories and so did the American people when they went to the polls in November and voted resoundingly for change."

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Obama got 53% of the vote. Not resounding by any stretch of the word "resounding."

This is the kind of arrogance that helped garner the last White House occupant the lowest approval ratings for a president ever. I think the American people have a lower tolerance for this sort of attitude on the part of their elected officials. Keep it up, Mr. Obama, and you will be a one term president. And even that one term will be too long for the 47% of us who didn't vote for you.

The Cheese Shop sketch

Because I needed a good laugh.


via videosift.com

I'm a Boy and I'm a Man

Vincent Furnier turns 61 today. This would not be notable if not for the fact that he is Alice Cooper.

In this odd video from 1972, the Coop tears it up on "I'm 18," a great song that mixes pop and glam rock and gives a hint of punk to come. I must say, in the video Alice looks a little like Son of Svengoolie in glitter pants. Kinda funny. Well, not real funny, not funny ha ha, just...funny.

Obama Watch: Really, He Should Ask If They've Paid Their Taxes

Another Obama nominee for a government post, this time Nancy Killefer, who was to be the first ever Chief Performance Officer, has admitted to having trouble remembering that pesky task of paying one's taxes. Killefer has withdrawn her name from consideration.

This story begs the question: What the heck is a Chief Performance Officer?

That Was the Day

Fifty years ago today the plane crashed and the music died. Fifty years makes the mourning for Buddy Holly middle aged. Rock n roll itself is middle aged too and it's founding fathers, those that are still alive, are just plain old.

Yet the music lives on. If the word "timeless" can be applied to anything it can be applied to the songs created by the likes of Buddy Holly, Elvis, Chuck Berry, etc. Strange that music that was so of the moment and of the youth turned out to be music that has no end, music that is, well, timeless.

Why is that? If for no other reason, it's because the songs were pretty darn good. Catchy melodies and easy to sing along with words. "Peggy Sue" was released seven years before I was born, yet I know all the words and can easily sing along with it. As long as no one else is around when I do that. I prefer to sing alone; I also prefer to spare any potential listener the pain of hearing me.

Donovan "Season of the Witch"

From the French Pop Festival in November, 1966. Donovan looks a tad...sleepy.

Season of Melancholy

In the depths of winter, in deadly dreary February, we are not in the Season of the Witch, we are in the Season of Melancholy.

I like Ryan "Don't Call Me Bryan" Adams. His work of late is awfully melancholy and I like melancholy. I mean, I guess, I like feeling melancholy, I like the emotion. But what kind of person would like to feel such a thing? Melancholy, like Nembutal, numbs it all. Melancholy is like a shot of novocaine in one's heart.

Conversely, I like to laugh. I like to be amused. It amuses me to think that Ryan Adams bears a vague resemblance to Rick Moranis in "Ghostbusters."


via videosift.com